Posts Tagged ‘wellness’

Empty Places

Posted: February 11, 2013 in Goals
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Perspective. That’s what it is all about. At least for me, lately. I don’t know about you. I like to think that I am not the only person who sits around (stands) and thinks about decisions that I have made, decision that i NEED to make, and of course, cookies the pros and cons of both of those. And cookies.

While I try not to regret decisions that I have made but rather try to find the learning opportunity that they presented me, I am not always able to wrap my head around that perspective. Some are easier than others, but not all are simple. I have found that several of my choices have left me with certain feelings of emptiness, leading me to think that I must fill those voids with something new, with better choices, or with new people and experiences.

I’m learning that this isn’t always the case, and perhaps it shouldn’t always be the case. I have found myself thinking that there is no way that my life could be considered ‘full’ if there were still voids. There have been MANY sleepless nights and restless days trying to find something to fill those gaps. Please tell me I’m not the only one?

Then today, quite by accident, I found this in a book that had been lying on my desk at work:

“Even in the fullest life, there are bound to be empty places. Sometimes they become sacred ground; a place of memories. Other times they wait to be filled.”

I’ve been thinking about it all day, and shared it with a great friend of mine. Now, I share it with you. I encourage you to think about it, too, and if the mood strikes share it with some people who you are close with. I cannot give you a source, as the author was not credited (Google couldn’t even help me!).

Happy Monday,



Are you NEEDY???

Posted: February 7, 2013 in Goals
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Recently I was told by a mental health professional, “you just described yourself as needy”. As if i needed to hear THAT…SOOO helpful, thanks. I pay you HOW MUCH??? Jackwagon.

Those were my original thoughts. I’ve had several hours to mull it over, and here’s my new reaction to what he said: SOOO helpful, thanks. I pay you HOW MUCH??? Jackwagon.

He had asked me a question to which I answered “because I feel invisible, like my ideas, thoughts, and comments don’t matter. I don’t feel like I bring any value to the table.” He looked right at me and said, “youjustdescribedyourselfasneedy”.

And you know what? I AM NEEDY. I NEED to have my thoughts validated. I NEED to at least believe that my input matters. I NEED to feel loved. I NEED to run/exercise/hike/play/have fun. I NEED COOKIES.

If we take a good look at ourselves, we ALL have needs that extend beyond food, oxygen, and shelter from inclement weather. We DO. And those needs help us define who we are to other people. Is there such thing as TOO NEEDY? Perhaps, but that is a subjective matter; we all have different levels of needy-acceptance for other people in our lives.

I am planning to examine my NEEDS versus my WANTS, and then go from there. I encourage you to do the same. Once we’ve decided which true NEEDS are not being met, let’s work on what steps we should take to FULFILL those NEEDS in a way that won’t cause others to push us away.

I think we can all benefit from this exercise. You?

This time of year it is very common to come across pictures on the web of people beginning their newly resolved fitness journeys. I have mad respect for people who are willing to throw public scorn to the wind and post pictures of themselves in various stages of being dressed all the while showing more skin than they might otherwise display.
These brave souls will put “BEFORE” underneath their pictures to be sure that no one believes that these are their destination photos, but more of a “here i am, at my worst, and then i’ll get better”. I really admire this. I don’t think that I could ever do it. I mean, I’m relatively healthy, and I won’t even go shirtless at the beach or local swimming hole. I get the whole concept of the “BEFORE” picture.
What I DON’T understand are the “AFTER” pictures. Think about it. If you are on a fitness journey for whatever reason, my suspicion is that EVERY DAY is part of the journey. I don’t know of anyone who is “done”. Every day we’re shufflin’ to either improve or maintain. We aren’t finished; the wellness/fitness lifestyle is a work in progress.
Here’s my challenge to all of us:
If you have before and after pictures on your blog/FB/locker/dashboard…change the caption on the “AFTER” picture to read “DURNING”. I believe that it will serve to remind all of us that the journey has no appreciable end. The only REAL “AFTER” picture would look like this:

Crypt Keeper "AFTER"

Crypt Keeper “AFTER”

I’ve asked a few people who I know outside of the web-world how they define wellness, and most of them are quick to answer “being physically fit” or “being in good shape” and “being the right weight for me”. While I think that these are worth-while pursuits, they don’t really encompass Wellness as a whole.

As I read the many blogs and articles that show up in my feeds, I am reminded that wellness isn’t just about physical fitness. Quality time with family and friends is an aspect, as are giving back to the community, eating healthy foods, spiritual involvement, and mental health. Of these, there are two areas in which I lack…confidence in to say that I am a Well Rounded person; Spiritual and Mental Health.

For me, being a spiritual person and being a religious person are two different things. Spirituality, for me, is being in touch with a power or force bigger than ourselves. This could be in many, almost any, form. It doesn’t involve worship, per se, but more involvement in the group/belief/vision/community related to that higher power. One doesn’t need be fully devoted to one philosophy in order to be spiritual. If so chooses, one can pull from many religions as a base for their spiritual beliefs.

Religious beliefs, in contrast, are limited to one sect, one way of believing in a specific higher power or Supreme Being. Religions, to me, fit themselves nicely into a set of rules for believers to follow; a certain way of behaving and things that need doing in order for that person to reach the promise land, heaven, or whatever that religion calls its after life. There are some readers who may disagree with me here (Mom?), and that’s ok.

I’m not proposing that either way is the right way to believe. That isn’t for me to decide. I’m simply laying it out why I feel that I am not well rounded based on my views of spirituality.

The other aspect where I fall flat is mental health. Hey, I’m doing the best that I can and every day I wake up and put my teflon coat on again. Trouble is, someone along the way used a metal spatula to scrape my coat, and the DuPont covering has blemishes. Sometimes things stick to it fora bit loner than I’d like them to before falling off and going down the drain.

Those things said, I am a work in progress, and I am happy with that. Being happy with where I am carries me a long way along the path to being Well Rounded.

What are some things that you struggle with on your journey? Share them in the comments!

Thank you,